Things I Hate
by Marril96
Summary: Jade posts another "What I Hate" video on The Slap. Some Bade at the end. Rated T for minor cursing.


**His, guys! Here's my first Bade story. Hope you enjoy it!**

"Hi, everyone", she said in her usual sarcastic tone. Out of all the videos she'd done, the _What I Hate_ ones were her favorites. "It's been a while since I've uploaded a new video and I thought: 'Hey, I might upload a new video.' So here it is."

She adjusted the camera, letting a cynical smile creep onto her lips.

"My number one: people who walk too slow", she said. "Listen up, slowpokes! When I waste some of my precious free time to stop at a green light so you can pass the street, I expect you to actually pass the street."

She did her usual eye-roll and sighed. She was getting annoyed. Even thinking about slow people made her clench her fists in anger.

"I don't have the whole day just because you decided it would be a good idea to walk the speed of a snail, okay? Yes, I'm talking to you, grandma! I mean, sure, walk like a damn snail, but then don't complain when I run you over!"

She straightened up in her chair and took a sip of coffee before continuing. If Beck was here, he'd probably try to calm her down. "Digging yourself deeper" is what he called it when she got into rants about things she found frustrating.

"Next on my list come people who sit next to you on a nearly empty bus", she stated. "What is with that? I sat alone for a reason. If I wanted you to sit next to me, I would've called you, and there's a 99.9 percent chance of that not happening."

She took another sip of coffee. As much as talking about things she hated angered her, she actually felt better once she got it all out. Who knows? If people find out what bothers her, there's a slight chance they'll stop doing those things around her. Or just avoid her. She liked that last thought.

"Another thing I hate are rude clerks. If you don't feel like doing your job, then quit. Don't yell at me 'cause your life is such a failure you ended up working as a clerk. Here's a hint: I don't give a damn. Either quit or start doing your damn job the way you're supposed to!"

"The next one is kinda big. Like, I really, really hate it. It's people who don't cover their mouth while sneezing or coughing." She faked a cough, her palm placed over her mouth. "See that? It wasn't so hard, now, was it? Get this to your head: I don't want your bacteria! I have enough of my own."

She put the coffee mug onto the table and grabbed a piece of paper, slicing it with her favorite pair of scissors. Oh, her beloved scissors! Sometimes they were the only friends she had, the only ones who didn't turn their back on her. Like, when she and Beck broke up and no one cared if she was depressed, her scissors were there to comfort her. Not Beck and certainly not Vega (who keeps calling herself her friend).

No. It's was all her dear pair of scissors.

"What's next? Let's see... Right! People who give their kids stupid names. If you wanna name your kid Pureblood Deathlover, that's fine. As long as you don't mind me hating you!" She frowned, thinking about it for a moment. "Actually, that name sounds kinda cool, but you know what I mean."

"Oh, and you know what else I hate? People who invite you over to dinner and then their kids scream the entire time. Hey, genius! You invited me to have dinner with you. Shut your brats up! I really don't feel like listening to the screaming choir in the background while eating. Do something about it! It's your job!"

She was quiet for a while, thinking of what to say next.

"I hate it when my neighbor's dog poops in my yard. What to say about this one? I hate it. I really, really, really hate it. Like, really. And he wonders why I egg his house every Halloween. Payback, loser!"

She smiled to herself; it was a content, satisfied smile. She loved revenge. Seriously, she loved it. If she was to make another _What I Love_ video, she'd have to make sure to include revenge. Sometimes she felt as though she loved revenge more than Beck. And that's _a lot_ of love.

"I hate it when a couple says: 'We're pregnant.' What is with that? Are you sharing a uterus? Both of you have half a fetus in you? I don't think so. Here's the thing, daddy-boys: _she's_ pregnant. _You're_ the cause of it. Well, most of the time. You listening? That goes for you too, mommies-to-be. _He's_ not pregnant. _You_ are. So stop saying you're both pregnant, 'cause that's just a filthy lie!" she shouted.

She took a moment to compose herself, then continued: "I hate censorship. Here's to the ever-so-worried soccer moms: if your kid sees someone on TV ripping someone's head off and decides it'd be a good idea to do the same thing to his baby sister, it's all on you. Okay? _You're_ supposed to control what your kids watch, no the TV people. _You're_ supposed to raise your child right so he doesn't copy things he sees on TV."

She angrily threw her scissors into the wall; they slammed right between the eyes of some famous rock-star Jade had a poster of on the wall. She narrowed her eyes and clenched her teeth so much they started to hurt. Man, she hated censorship.

"Let me tell you something. If you're such a failure at motherhood, why should I watch horror movies with 90 percent of horror cut out of it? They're called _horror_ movies for a reason! I hate-no, I loathe that!" she exclaimed. She looked at the wall where her scissors were stuck. "Now look what you made me do! My poster is ruined!"

"Oh, and while I'm on it – I hate people who expect celebrities to be role models for their kids. Aww, look. Little Jamie's doing drugs again. Oh, no! It's the end of the world!" She made dramatic hand gestures. "Here's the thing: he's not your kid's parent. _You_ are. So don't go around doing protest marches 'cause little Jamie's doing kids movies and smoking pot at the same time. He can do whatever the hell he wants. It's his life. If your kid starts getting high because little Jamie's doing it, maybe you should quit being a parent 'cause you obviously suck at it!"

She took her PearPhone, checking the time. "Oh, look. It's almost seven thirty. Beck's coming over for a sleepover soon. But you're in luck. I'm feeling generous, so here's one more annoying thing for all of you who have nothing better to do than watch videos of me talking about stuff that I hate"

"I hate it when my neighbor's baby starts screaming in the middle of the night. Like, one moment I'm dreaming about zombies finally turning me into one of them and next I'm woken up by a screeching monster. Parents, stop that! Silence your baby so I can sleep! I don't care if it's hungry and or sick or whatever. If I was the one screaming in the middle of the night, people would call the police on me. And I know that because it's actually happened. Twice."

"Okay, that's all for today. Hope you liked it. If you didn't, well, I don't give a damn", she stated. She heard the door opening and smirked to herself. "Here comes Beck. See ya!"

With that she turned her camera off and ran to meet up with Beck. She hasn't seen him since school this afternoon and she was starting to miss him. But not to worry, he was gonna make it up to her tonight. There's a reason she invited him for a sleepover tonight. Her dad and his new wife were on a business trip and her little brother was on some kind of camping trip with school.

Beck and she had the whole house to themselves. But it's not what they needed; all they needed was one bedroom. _Her_ bedroom.

She smiled at that thought as she kissed him welcome. Without any words they headed to her room, holding hands, ready to take their clothes off and make up for missing time.

**The end. Hope you guys liked it. English isn't my first language, so if you see any mistakes, correct me. It's the only way I can learn, right? Greetings!**


End file.
